This poem is taken from the fourth Part of the book, Finality of the Heart, the one found in a darker timeline than the last, Part IV - Failure. If this were a video game, this would be considered the “bad ending,” the one that leaves the world in a state it should not be in, with the protagonist broken and deranged. Here, the poems you’ll find are not of celebration and revelry, but of loss, grief, rejection, longing, and regret. All is not hopeless however, as accepting heartbreak and growing from it might just provide its own enlightening journey:

Burnt Out

Days like this remind me

of my last night on earth:

I am sitting, sifting through

the ashes of the inspiration she left behind,

feeling them slip through

my fingers one last time, 

desperately wishing

she’d have graced my desperate lips,

even just as briefly,

instead of what amounts to

a legacy of inadequacy.

Would you hear my heart then crying out

it’s last beat for you,

or pretend not to notice

my ashes as they blow away?

If I’d be graced that desperate wish,

you’d at least glance skyward

so that the last thing I see

is indeed your shining face

and I’ll fly away knowing

there’s beauty in the world

I leave

behind.

Death is a natural part of life and when we inevitably reach the end of that long and winding road, it’s normal too to wonder if we’ll be at peace with the life we’ve led or have regrets and final wishes. The speaker in this poem feels as though he has experienced death already (of the metaphorical variety) and is so so tired of carrying the burden of his regrets and a relationship that never came to be. His mind is “Burnt Out”, but his heart wants to believe they’ll be some relief in his final moments, as he holds onto the memories of the beauty he once knew until the absolute moment he fades away.

Will our speaker find resolution after wading through the shadows found in the rest of Part IV? You’d be a Failure to yourself if you didn’t read to find out in the full poetry collection, Finality of the Heart.